Qulture Magazine

Words by Kenny Ross

Photos by @lightninrosemedia

I’m standing in a busy room at The Mash House in Edinburgh, and it’s already roasting. Folk are near enough shoulder to shoulder, pints in hand, buzzing with that kind of energy you only get when nobody quite knows what’s about to happen — but they know it’s going to be class. Then on comes Dead Endz — Stevie & Malcolm, the “Milkman brothers” from Bathgate — and the place erupts.

Behind it all is DJ Own Dialect, holding it down with beats that are grimy, glitchy, and just the right amount of unpolished. He’s not just backing them — he’s part of the madness.

This is their first headline show in Edinburgh, and they’re not easing into it. They launch straight into “I Work For The Council”, and it’s like someone’s kicked off a shift at the world’s rowdiest depot. The crowd seemed to know every word, and to me It’s daft, it’s tight, and it works.

If The Lonely Island and Tinie Tempah had a music baby, it might sound like this — tongue-in-cheek bars, grime-adjacent beats, and a whole lot of swagger filtered through a distinctly Scottish lens. I won’t comment about Malcolm’s dodgy English rap accent (kidding man!).

They roll through “Rent Boys” and “Funky Style And Arrogance”, the latter sounding like Scotland’s Eurovision entry from the early 2000s — bold, brash, and weirdly unforgettable. Then comes “3 Little Piggies”, an ode to the thug butchers out there, and I’m properly laughing. It’s like a nursery rhyme, got jumped in an ASDA car park. “Doing It For The Gram” takes a swipe at influencer culture, and “F&ck GRM Daily” — well, turns out the track isn’t sh!t after all. It’s a proper banger, full of bite and cheek. Then they switch it up with “First Date”, and I’m not expecting to feel anything — but there’s this line: “I’m a male feminist, gonna give you my world, you can trade mines in for your diamonds and pearls” — and suddenly I’m laughing out loud and weirdly touched at the same time!

“Transit Lives Matter” is next, and it’s a full-on anthem for white van drivers who don’t give a f<ck about anyone else on the road, and in there way. The place is bouncing like it’s a union rally and a rave rolled into one. Then we hit the final stretch: “Travel Lodge” (a hotel for lovers, apparently), “Cheapskate” (a broke-ass anthem if ever there was one) The 2 of them somehow go hand in hand haha. They close with “It’s A Wedding Girl”, and it’s chaos. It feels like the end of a wedding where everyone’s had too much Buckfast and nobody wants to go home.

Dead Endz aren’t just taking the pi$$ — they’re building something bigger, judging by their Youtube channel! Their live show is a celebration of the absurd, the everyday, and the absolutely mental. This wasn’t just a gig — it was a shift change.

They’ve got 626 monthly Spotify listeners right now, but trust me — that number’s going up.
Check out their spotify here:

All in all, I had a great night — and I’d tell anyone: go see Dead Endz at least once. You’ll laugh, you’ll sweat, and you’ll leave wondering what the hell just happened — in the best way.

Rating: 4.7/5 – Council-core chaos at its finest.